i gotta say, i'm really excited. excited to be done this constant work cycle... though leaving the seniors at countryside made me cry. it really is sad that this is my last summer with them becaouuse I will honestly miss them. and the staff. it's nice to know that what you're doing is actually appreciated. they threw me a party, with icecream and pizza haha and tons of gifts (and money!) and cards and hugs and speeches. I know i impacted their lives for the better. got them into some activities like the wii and computer (one of my seniors even started a facebook with me!) but they understand that i need to go on with the rest of my life and they are really genuinely happy for me. they are better friends than a lot of people these days, and i'm grateful to have had them in my life.
moving on, however... I'm excited for the next year. not just because i have a bunch of cool new things for our room, or am taking some decent classes, or get to be back in the bruns... i think im most excited because i am just so much more sure as to who i am and what i want and i'm excited to working on the journey to becoming exactly who i want to be.

POSSIBILITIES

The possibilities have opened up now that i'm not doing this internship thing this fall. may try again in the spring, may just wait till summer...

i want a job, for security purposes. i don't want one for sanity's purpose. so tired of working for the "man". may just end up volunteering my time at the RUP and English Department. I need to focus on getting together my senior thesis ideas because I know it's gunna be a tough journey. I would also like to tutor for plangere... if i could only find a decent writing sample.
maybe i'll only apply to book stores and if i don't get it, i don't. and i'll live off our refund checks. mwahahaha.

i wanna really take some recreational classes. maybe 1 with a friend (or bf) but some without. i think i need to learn to motivate myself :-P

exercise/volunteering/passing classes/figuring out my life. i think that's what this semester will be like. i deserve to relax from work for 4 months. right? RIGHT? haha. such is life.

trunctuated and edited

It was many and many a year ago,
In a kingdom by the sea,
That a man there lived whom you may know
By the name of PJP;
And this man he lived with no other thought
Than to love and be loved by me.

I was a child and he was a child,
In this kingdom by the sea;
But we loved with a love that was more than love-
I and my PJP;
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven
Coveted him and me.


And our love it was stronger by far than the love
Of those who were older than we-
Of many far wiser than we-
And neither the angels in heaven above,
Nor the demons down under the sea,
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul
Of the wonderful PJP.

Bloggie Blog World

So, read my last post and realized a whole middle chunk was missing, but whatever, i think you got the gist.
so... this is kinda gonna be all over the place...

have i changed this summer?
I think i have.
the biggies:
-became a mommy! this was technically in the spring, but it changed my life this summer. especially when my baby got sick a couple days ago.:-(. had me tearing up in the vet lol. but he seems to be okay now. 4 medications, bland food, and $350 later lol. just bored and wanting his old food back.
-bought a car! woot! which changed my life in general in a good way and makes me so proud that we did it by ourselves.
-went on vacation, which I don't do often. And my first vacation with the boyfriend and his fam. first cruise too :-D.
-became a business owner -- temporarily. which changed both me and pj, the way we work together and handle our money, and even our personalities, more confident, more outgoing, and more involved with the community here in galloway, which was pretty cool.

and the not so big-ies.

**Despite feeling like i gained 10 lbs during the cruise, I prob lost about 5 overall.
**I discovered that Kashi bars are not just a snack... they are a way of life. When you Kashi, you're a happier person. You don't run low on sugar because there's a bar always in your bag. There's a craving-satisfier for all my sweet tooth needs, and I don't feel bad indulging in say... 3 during the work day. You're okay skipping lunch because they are rich and fiber and protein so you feel like you're not going hungry. and you save money because you're not starving by 5 pm and giving in to buying a shit load of wawa. as was my life pre-Kashi.
**my hair is shorter and healthier. despite just recently running out of the house for puppy emergencies, i've been taking care of it much better. I now have my own chi and red ken shampoo and 2 new brushes and other hair health shit... which is no big deal to everyone else, but for me, who tried to survive the last 2 years with 1 shitty brush, $3 shampoo and $15 straighteners, this is a big deal. lol
**I still get stressed, but I know how to calm myself down now. I'll set aside a time for a quick nap or just 10 minutes for meditation and it changes my whole day.
**I'm a more understanding girlfriend... or so I would like to think lol
**I've become somewhat of a shopaholic. This was a change I'm not proud of. I could barely go 3 days without going to a store and every time I went, I had to get a little something for myself, or room, or Hugo lol. Was pretty bad. i didnt spend too much, except in the orlando outlets and my pre- vacation clothes shopping, but i still feel bad. putting myself on a serious budget once school starts.
**but i am glad that ive learned that its okay to get new clothes lol. something i only did when absolutely necessary. i actually like my clothes now which is a huge plus lol
**im more active in general. which changes the way I carry myself.
**i attempted to learn a language... even though my practice faded after like a week. i plan to pick it back up though
** i'm less concerned with where I'll end up and more concerned with taking advantage of the moment. trying to make the most of these next 2 years at RU. wish me luck.

i'm looking forward to my next blog being in the comfort of my own bed back in new brunswick. this summer has been a wild ride, man... but im glad its coming to an end. 4 more days at countryside, 7 more days of MC ownership, one day of jury duty and i'm calling it quits.

also... havent heard back from penguin :-( haha, i'm actually not as sad as maybe i should be. maybe because i'm tired of working my ass off. if i don't hear anything by friday, i'm rearranging my schedule to one that works better for me and utilizes my mondays and wednesdays. we shall see... <3 thanks for listening

What is the cause of suffering? being over-worked? under-loved? having "bad things" just "happen"?

not being on vacation?

now, I had an above-expectations wonderful kind of vacation. i would have loved to have written everything down as there are certain memories I'm sure I have already forgotten, but that was not plausible during my short 6 day vacay, nor even desireable... so from what i remember, abbreviated...

first plane ride with hubby, great views, great conversation. arrived in orlando, met up with the fam. began the eating/spending frenzy at outback, explored the resorts... wowzers! went to city walk and saw a GREAT live band. Orange Avenue. look em up. back to the villa, boys went to the pool. I got a pool-side massage... ahh :-). Team Carin-Titot raped at wii bowling. got sleep, yey!....spent most of the next day relaxing, chillin on the porch. finally got to go to the outlets. dropped like $300, but great purchases... <3 eating. enjoyed some 2 for 1 mojitos! ate. had sex. got caught having sex. ran away in embarassment and hid for the rest of the night on the top deck, playing basketball and ping pong. thought about getting married. looked for the chapel. couldn't find the chapel. gave up on the idea. ate. gambled. lost $70 at ultimate texas holdem. gambled. pj won $70 back at roulette. got drunk of duty-free liquor with titot while playing pusoy dos. stumbled to the bar and talked to this guy forever about football. was drunk enough to go to the casino again. gambled. broke even again. ate. hung out in the jacuzzi. ate again. ate so much, i think i gained near 10 lbs. burned a good amount off though lol. went to PARADISE ISLAND! saw Atlantis, resisted the casino, hung out on the white sandy beaches... perfectly clear water. tito joey got stung by a jellyfish. ran to the boat, but everything was fine. did the tourist thing, shopper thing and beach bum thing. went to Norwegian's private island. beautiful :-). tried to hike to the lighthouse, but decided it was too far. tried to have sex on the hidden, secluded area of the beach. couldnt shake our company. got back on the boat. had sex again. almost got caught again. FAIL. ate. got hook ups with the 85% filipino crew, including a feast of filipino food especially for us on the last day lol. had a wonderful conversation in the quiet area of the deck with titot and pj. saw a shooting star :-). (shoothing star!). in short, fell in love with the cruise life. In Joan's late husband's words... I was born to cruise. Or at least vacation. decided right then and there to start saving for the next cruise next year. or save for the next 3 yrs or so and SPLURGE on an italy excursion. hmm. leaning towards the 2nd one lol.

and now i'm back to the 'real world' you know... the one that sucks. lol j/k it's really not that bad. I just know I worked my ass off this summer and am pretty tired of it.

sorry i kinda gave up with the 6 weeks posting, but i didn't give up on the 6 weeks goals. i think i am a better me already :-D

VACATION! aka week 4

Week 4 falls perfectly in line with my week-long vacation! I never did finish week 3, but whatever. got some stuff done, forgot some others... but it no longer matters because i'm chillin in my villa in orlando, on the screened in porch after a half-day of relaxation, babyy.

It really is wonderful... I think I ought to vacation every year. At least a small one. Because it feels so amazing. After 2 months of stress, stress, stress, I can forget about everything and just RELAX. Family of pj's family had a villa in Florida as their timeshare and let us use it for a few days which is nice. It's really nice here, too. Decor and views ;-) and pools... and pool side spa! got my first massage, but it sure won't be my last.. probably getting one on the cruise as well. enjoyed the night at City Walk, and got the first actual sleep of my week. :-). today was a lazy day as we waited for tita leah to be done her seminar... and then the in-laws went to another seminar where they were convinced to get a timeshare too!!! SHAME ON THEM! lol. they're on their way back now, let's see if they actually got one.. dun dun dun. Played a lot of wii with titot, tito joey and pj, with joy cracking up all throughout lol. I've forgotten how wonderful it was to just hang out, without the stress of tomorrow lingering like onion breath. AHHH! can't wait to board the cruise tomorrow. thanks galloway heads for holding down the store for us and baby-sitting our gog. we <3 you.