What am I looking for?

You see, "I've been sitting, waiting, wishing"
Looking for that "something missing"
Hoping to find, in truth, that
"the answer lied in me."

And time doesn't freeze
For the one that leaves it
So I went on believing that I would meet it
Somewhere on the winding path.

And it's brought me to the wrong side of my head.

Running in circles
Making a target
Of the pain I've bled.

Too lost in your wounds
To realize my own.

And yet
Nothing heals me like the kiss
I imagine your lips to breathe
Or the bliss of the false memories
Of a life never realized
And never to be lived again.

And, And, And…
As if life is some continuous roller coaster ride
That never stops to rid of the attachments
It has grew tired of.
Always moving, moving, moving
And always losing, losing, losing
Its thrill.

But STILL, I RIDE
Not trying to mock the poet
But I can't rise
When the ride won't subside
Always running but never ending the race.

But wait.
If I opened my eyes maybe I could see.
Find the missing piece of the false life I lead
In the storm of my mind
I may never reach.

After all,
What am I reaching for?