OK, so I'm so fucking happy right now that I don't know what to do with it. i'm chipper with my parents, I'm smiling my cheeks out and singing in the grocery store... and i have those happy little butterflies in my stomach. it's really quite crazy. it's really unexplanable... i feel guilty for holding on to it and yet i whole-heartedly claim this happiness as MINE. because I've been blessed, and why not let my light shine?

I write in these things for expression, as does everyone, but also for pure memory purposes. There are days, weeks, months, that I never want to forget, that I easily will if I do not write it down.... in a convenient blog lol.

so these days... weeks... months...
I have been in love in a crazy way. :-)
and 6 years into this love... i know it's expected for me to be chill and comfortable and not one of those annoying little girls that gush about how much they love their boyfriend... etc, etc. lol but there are these days, weeks, months... hell, years... that I want to shout it off the rooftops... even when words seem so insignificant.

In our little world, when it's just me and him... life can reach perfection... happiness peaks. and this is not naivete, this is not hopefulness speaking, but gut when I know that short of drastic circumstances, or our own stupidity, we have this at least till death. Hurting each other is out of the question.

this is how I feel right now and this is what I know right now, and though I needed this to express my love since i cant currently show it to him, I also wanted to remind everyone that you have the potential to love even stronger and better than the best love stories you could ever read. not only is it real... it's possible for ordinary, imperfect people such as myself... and pj haha. I hope that you don't give up on it.... and I hope that you don't settle for anything less. There is nothing "wrong with you" if you havent found it yet. (AHEM!) every damn one of us is too young to think all is lost if we havent found that one that makes us happy everyday. lol. in 2019, you can rightfully bitch. lol

and know that I love you. I promise. and I can say that rightfully, because the whole 6 of you that actually read this blog, I love.

So HAPPY NEW YEAR loves... may 09 be better than 08, and let us recognize our blessings through all of the pain.

let us receive blessings and let us bless each other, for always.