distractions

now that I've finished New Moon, I need something else to focus on besides this annoying sickness... so my thoughts turn to:

Car. Car. Car.

Damn it.

Leave it to my mom to squash my hopes and dreams and bring me back to reality:

Money. Money. Money.

Damn it.

and trust me, it had nothing to do with the purchasing of a car. I knew I could do that much this summer. some place would be desperate enough to allow me to put a $1000 down payment and do payments for the rest. and more likely than not, I could pay the rest in full by october, at the least. the car was not the problem...
just everything else that comes with owning a car. insurance first. i've blissfully been w/o insurance forever. knowing i'm a safe enough driver not to fuck up and knowing I barely drive anyway, it was never a concern. why pay so much for something I wouldn't use?
but now...
i should anticipate at least $200 a month. not the worst thing, really. if i tried really really hard, I could probably do it. but it adds up. 200+400+50+300. I won't have $1000 to spend every month on bills alone. and then there's the whole... eating thing. with pj's help, we could probably get by alright. but do I really want to put that pressure on us? do i want my vroom vroom that badly?

let's see... i survived the week in Galloway without it. relatively ungrudgingly. a few sour moments, but nothing i couldn't handle. my weekdays would be... getting dropped off at countryside after my mom gets dropped off at work... trying to get picked up after work. probably waiting for my dad or pj to pick me up. and if they have jobs that keep them from that. well, then, I'm screwed, aren't i? and to think, I was hoping to come up to new brunswick weekends, if it were enough to keep me hired at the RUP. lol that is, if they want me. haha too shy to ask yet...
i could survive the summer w/o it. i just don't want to.
ugh... when I do this, I gotta do it right.
it makes sense to wait until I'm 21. cheaper insurance, would actually have money amassed to purchase a car outright, instead of monthly payment bullshit.

i need someone to tell me i can do this (or we can do this, if you're still in this with me babe). tell me, and mean it. show me how.